Eric Coleone

I am an adventurer. I have lived through countless toddler attacks, survived a motorcycle wreck without a helmet, and lived through the Black Friday sale of Best Buy for 5 years in a row. Truly, I am a force to be reckoned with.

I'm funnier than a clown car that's on fire. There are only 3 truly bad-ass people on the planet, and the other two send ME Christmas cards. While traveling the world trying to find something cooler than myself, I happened across a Bedouin family that was dying of thirst in the desert. I saved their lives by squeezing grape Kool-Aid from a nearby rock.

I want to meet someone that I can have a deep philosophical conversation with one moment and then tell me about the funny face the dog made when it humped the neighbor's leg. A person who has had a slice of life and now wants the whole damn pie. Someone that can fly and shoot super heated plasma from their hands. A person that doesn't make me want to tear out my own jugular with rusty nails. Someone who is willing to take the time to get to know the real me.