S.L. Schmitz

If you like Pina Coladas and talking walks in the rain, if you're not into yoga, and if you have half a brain, then welcome.

I am short, sassy, and full of all kinds of snark. If the gin martini doesn't have blue cheese olives in it, don't even bother bringing it to me. I spend a great deal of time pretending to fit into society, and occassionally succeed. One of these days, I'm going to go to Loch Ness and visit my favorite Scottish monster. Until then -- I'm going to continue writing bizarre, mythpunkian, irrational words that unravel all over the furniture and make a mess on the carpet.

Welcome to my web, said the spider to the fly.

S.L. Schmitz