Francesco Bellafante

In 1998, I nearly died due to semi-intentionally caused acute carbon monoxide poisoning. My ignorance about mental disorders, coupled with my own beliefs that reinforced the stigma associated with mental illness almost cost me my life.  At the time, I knew very little about mental illness in general and even less about major depression specifically.  Unfortunately, even though I knew I needed help, I was afraid to ask for it.  I was ashamed of what I thought needing and getting help for a mental health condition meant.  After three months of sleeping between zero and three hours a night, I came as close to killing myself as a person can come, and still live to tell about it.  I had a near death experience due to acute carbon monoxide poisoning, and  after three days in a coma, I woke up.

By publicly sharing about the circumstances leading up to, and the lessons learned since my suicide attempt, I hope to reveal insights about the suicidal mind specifically, and mental illness in general that may provide, at the very least, a modicum of understanding and peace to some of those left to mourn and remember loved ones who have died by their own hand.  Furthermore, I hope that frankly sharing about how I nearly destroyed myself, will help people going down similarly self-destructive paths, avoid many of the mistakes that I made.