Heather Pier

I'm a weed grower and a Scottish warrior princess. I've never had a cavity. I am a vessel full of useless trivia and, also, pie. Part fairy tale, part comic book, part Indiana Jones style adventurer. Part country, part city, part Tinkerbell. I'm no fun whatsoever. I have mannish shoulders. I have mad skills with a broken bottle. When things get hard I don't break, I bounce. I smile in bad company. I am the best camp cook you have ever met and I know how to neuter (both in the literal and figurative sense). I think a woman can get more done with a lipstick than a man can with a Winchester and a side of bacon. Older than I look, sharper than you think I am, I always have something up my sleeve. Unfortunately, sometimes it's just an arm. BUT WATCH OUT! I like people who need a little adventure in their lives. 'Cause I'm gonna bring it. I'm also interested in fans and hangers-on. And someone who wants to write me a theme song.