Bruce Chandler

Austin TX

Bruce Chandler

Austin TX

Most people are not conceived in a test tube. Bruce Chandler (aka BDubC) is no exception, so the rumors are untrue –the ones about how he put a crack in the glass tube with his first effort at mitosis. The mitosis itself was successful, and Bruce now has many cells, so he did become good at dividing, but the idea that he was a prodigy is difficult to prove. It is also hard to disprove, given the thriving multi-cellular organism he has become. But my point is that there was no test tube. He's from Kentucky. They didn’t have test-tubes there in the late 60s. He was born without any shoes, calling into question the old spiritual that claims “all God’s children got shoes,” but that could still be true, assuming Bruce isn’t one of God’s children. But his mother was grateful in any case (about the bare feet)...Bruce had too much energy as a child. He would release it by beating with hands on horizontal and vertical surfaces, and even some with obtuse angles. This tested the patience of his long-suffering family, at least until the invention of electronic drums and headphones (which came too late, but better late than never)...Eventually there was college for Bruce at Murray State University, which is “Kentucky’s Public Ivy,” according to their website, and the obtrusive signs hanging all over campus. This is not Bruce’s fault. Murray State was content to be a po-dunk school when he went there. There aren’t enough po-dunk schools anymore. Everything is now Ivy League, by some sort of analogy or qualification. For example, Austin Community College is “The Yale of Community Colleges between I-35 and Red River Blvd,” according to their website. Bruce never went there...Have I mentioned that he's a recording engineer and erstwhile producer? Well he is, regardless of what was for lunch, and of course, there is mitosis...These days Bruce shaves more or less regularly...