Los Angeles

Humble beginnings. Pretty much the Oliver Twist of post-Soviet era Russia. "Please sir, can I have some more." Rough times. Joined the Russian Mafia to survive. Rather not talk about it. I'm an American now. I used to tool around Monterey Park in a hot little Toyota, till the jerks who run this city went crazy with those stupid speed bumps. My new passion is my recently acquired Ducati 1198! Unfortunately the lady cut off my eTrade access so the payments are killing me. I've started selling these cheezy "Tiki Alumina Fire Sculptures" to help with my cash flow. You'll see them at places like Home Depot. You should buy a couple. They'll be awesome for your summer parties and you'll really help me out.

  • Work
    • Spokesmodel for Tiki Alumina Fire Sculptures
  • Education
    • Trite, but true: Graduate of the School of Hard Knocks