Vexing Jinx

I cannot recall my earliest moments...It was purely basic instinct in those days: I do remember the clawing, desperate need for binary fission, my psuedopod propelling me through the murk and mire of the soupy primordial ooze.

The choice to evolve was not mine own, it was thrust upon me like greatness upon the shoulders of a small boy whom was able to tear a sword from a stone or carry a befouled ring on a chain about his neck through Mordor riding nothing but his furry feet and the prayers of Middle Earth - but I digress... There are no Round Tables or Fellowships in my own story, I just have an unnatural obsession with Hobbits and codpieces. REGARDLESS!

Trapped in the pressure-cooker of forced change, I was shaped - my once singular cell encouraged to multiply like rumours in High School about that one girl in Biology class - no, not her, the other one...the brunette with the bad teeth and lazy eye - YES! That one! For ages I suffered the becoming, the evolutionary metamorphosis. From the dawn of time, I've been... As I once was, now no longer.

As I now am, honed to perfection by natural selection. Stands now before thee nature's triumph! I signify all that is pure in childproof containers and electric socket covers! i am the pinnacle of glory to be achieved in the art of successful young rearing! All of this possibility and chance quivering at my fingertips and what do I do with the fantastic power I've been given?! I roleplay a Panther on SecondLife!

I am Woman,

I am Ginger,

I am Scot,

I am Evolution's Plateau!

BEHOLD - VEXING JINX!