amber rayne

my name is amber and im seventeen. i think life is kind of pointless, but not in the suicide kind of way. i just think it's kind of weird to make it such a priority to succeed if we're all just gonna die. i mean, i'm not going to grow up to become a hobo, i'm going to do everything i can to be successful, i just think it a strange process.. but for now i ignore phone calls, i watch movies all day, i go to school and socialize with who ever, and i come home eat and go on the computer. i do wish that i wanted to go out more, but i dont. staying isolated suits me, and the way things have been going for the past years, i've adapted to it. i don't smoke, or drink, or have sex. mainly because i don't like weed, cigarettes taste gross, and my boyfriend lives 1500 miles away. i am in a long distance relationship, yeah. and i did meet my boyfriend online. i do see him every summer, but we go on dates rather than "fuck." we're old school i guess. but i give myself a damn good pat on the back, because we have been together for a year and 5 months, and we were best friends for 3 years before that. and it is fucking hard, but that just proves how much i love him. so y'know, that's one main reason why i hate people who are judgmental towards meeting someone online. and i could go on for hours about how much and why i love him, but so could 99% of every other teenage girl who has a boyfriend. and i could go on for years about how much i hate people usuing the word love so much, making it lose its meaning, but people can think for themselves.. so anyways. i'm typical. i have insecurities, i have opinions, and i'm living one day at a time. just going with the flow.