Arianna Monahan

Arianna Monahan

I am an alien. Not alien like “hormonal middle school kid who thinks nobody likes them because they aren’t wearing the right brand of hoodie”, but a real life little green Martian. I'm a walking juxtaposition of eclectic behavioral experimentation and good old fashioned elbow grease. While most of my life on this planet has been spent doing solid unrelenting detective work in the field of human conversation and progressive art, I have also been known to act generously toward Mother Nature's children. As a foreigner to this world I am simply amazed by the diversity of the critters that inhabit it. Whether it be throwing open the door to my boyfriend's speeding Honda and leaping out to make sure a tortoise makes it safely across a busy street, or distributing kisses to neglected pet-store-imprisoned snakes, I am always on the lookout for furry, scaly, slimy friends whose day I can improve. Why in fact, I've even taken a lovely couple of down on their luck hermit crabs into my own home to help them get back on their numerous crustaceous feet. Fat Tony and Shelldon love nothing more than scuttling around their spacious “crabitat” in search of all manner of mischief and mayhem. Those crunchy little dudes simply love spending hours slamming their robust shells into the glass walls of their home. They must think I need to get up at 4 in the morning every day and are ever so kind as to do their best to wake me up with their racket….how sweet! Much like the common Earthling, I too make an effort to maintain a healthy diet rich in fibers, legumes, and chicken. It may seem contradictory to indulge myself on the flesh of one of Mother Nature’s creatures, but alas I can't get past the creepy (borderline evil) demeanor of chickens. I've hypothesized that this fear relates directly back to a traumatizing chicken attack I experienced as a child, but I digress. In addition to my altruism toward non feathered beings, I derive great pleasure from long walks on the beach and short walks to the bathroom. My lifestyle is also greatly influenced by visionaries including but not limited to Frank Lloyd Wright and George Washington Carver, heroes whose stories graced many a middle school biography paper written by yours truly. I hope to learn all I can about your planet’s fascinating mosaic of living creatures, and hope to do so in a fashion that even the most cantankerous of radio disk jockeys would approve of.