Fast growing corp needs YOU: a Libra who can analyze handwriting at dinner parties. Must be able to take care of children, ages 3 to 5 years, prove that you have never spent a year in therapy and be confident of what your postal code will be in 2017. Must also be a former national level tennis player, have experience in float home ownership and understand what it takes to manage the life cycle of a cat. Work experience as a print columnist, talk radio host and reality TV writer/director is a bonus. Should also be up-to-date on the latest digital marketing strategies, a j-school and business graduate, and an Accredited Business Communicator who works virtually for a F500. Did you elope to Las Vegas on a coin flip? Even better. If you have written an unpublished children's picture book, obsess over the next coronal mass ejection, idolize Nathan Myhrvold and are not afraid of long days, we're looking for you! Starting salary will cover genetic testing kit for health, disease and ancestry. So-so benefits. Must be able to explain your core values when encountering our CEO in an elevator.