anonymous blackstar.

this is the first time i open up about this.

well hi. i'm 18
my mother had a tough childhood, then she got married in her 20's to a fucking douchbag who destroyed my life and hers. he tortured her with continuous mental abuse and she was nothing in the house but a maid that can't rest herbody or eyes plus she had a job that she miscarriaged twice due to extreme hard work.

divorce wasn't an option for her because she put her kids' future in her considiration no matter how hard the pressure gets.

but she's human, of course she lost control many times and put all her anger on me with physical abuse through the years.. but i forgive her, it wasn't her fault to reach this point. she regrets it so bad now and even though it always broke my heart, i can't blame her because i know this is not her, she was pushed way too far by my dad and his and her families.

i have two useless shitty siblings: brother 21 and sister 24. they never help mom in anything and are just extra load on me and her.

i was always the big kid and i hit puberty early so basically i had big fucking chest since a pretty young age.. and everyone took advantage of that.
i have got sexually molested (groped) by strangers, family member and finally, a few times by my brother when i was 11 and you can't imagine how terrible did that affect me til' this moment. i can never have that ugly memory hit me for a second without automatically breaking down and cry.

my dad, brother and sister always made fun of how i look, how i talk and every single thing i do even if a normal face expression that comes naturally and would detail to me how "dumb, not normal, retarded and worthless" i was. i still can't find the answer of why they did that. i was actually pretty normal but i believed them and started to have the lowest self esteem.

my siblings went to college in another country and my mom had to travel with them because they're too irresponsible to live alone there, so i had to live for the last 4 years alone with my dad.
i have no friends at all and i'm caged in my room all the time.. i don't see or talk to anybody.

bullying didn't play a huge part of my school days, it was all of it. school to me was nothing since 3rd grade but getting harshly bullied every moment of everyday, by schoolgirls from the entire school that my only escape was locking the bathroom door and sitting on the floor for hours until s