WHY I'M THE TITS: GRADUATE OF UM WITH A FEW USELESS DEGREES INCLUDING PRINT JOURNALISM, PSYCHOLOGY, AND ENGLISH LITERATURE. ALSO, A NINJA TURTLE.
RELIGIOUS VIEWS: EXCOMMUNICATED FROM THE CATHOLIC RELIGION AT AGE 12 AFTER GORGING MYSELF ON THE BODY OF CHRIST DURING A STINT AS AN ALTAR SERVER. SERIOUSLY.
POLITICAL VIEWS: GRILLED CHEESE VS. TACO
"We can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are. Sane or insane. Saints or sex addicts. Heroes or victims. Letting history tell us how good or bad we are. Letting our past decide our future. Or we can decide for ourselves.
And maybe it's our job to invent something better."