Hmm. So where to start.
I discovered "today" I have AS (Asperger syndrome) ...I've suspected for a long time I had some form of ASD... and while I have not yet had an "official" diagnosis... I have had professional opinion.
This may not be a big shock to many people who know me. In fact, it may not even seem like "news" ...but it is for me.
I'm adopted. Twice actually. Once when I was 2, and again when I was 10. The first time, it was simply because my biological mother couldn't care for me... she was too young, and her life at the time wasn't healthy for me. The second time, was complete abandonment. My first adoptive family didn't understand what my problem was (ASD/AS) and decided they didn't want to be involved... and handed me back (via a lot of legal action) so they didn't have to be responsible for me anymore. This action (when i was put up for re-adoption the second time at 9) caused me a lot of trauma. I now have PTSD on top of ASD/AS. It's been hard to swallow, but as an adult... just not realizing what I am... I have been able to come come to terms with who I am.
The second MAJOR failure on the part of my families, and the various agencies, and organizations who's duty it was make sure I was cared for appropriately was mis-diagnosing me with ADD, or ADHD when I was a child, instead of taking the time and care needed to discover that NO it wasn't ADD, but AS/ASD. This has lead to a lifetime of wrong turns, wrong treatment, wrong medications that (in hindsight) were never right, and never worked because they didn't address the reality... but a bad guess.
If you can't tell, i'm mad. Don't worry though, I'm intelligent and sound enough to convert that anger into progress and do the things I need to do, and should have been done when I was a child. I am coming into this late... and it's hard... because while resources exist for adults, most exist for children, when doctors prefer to catch this, and resolve it sooner, rather than later in a persons life.
Ironically, and also somewhat frighteningly... I am discovering this element of who I am at a time when this nation, perhaps the world is highlighting, and in some cases looking with scrutiny at people with AS because of the Sandy Hook shooting. As someone with AS, all I can