Yeah you didn't read that headline wrong, it happened in 2010 & I did nothing to provoke it. I will never really know what did since he still won't talk to me but oh well.

I'm Ashanti, a female freelance sports writer originally from Chicago. Die-hard Bears/Bulls/Blackhawks/White Sox fan but I don't cover sports like a homer would. I'm also an aspiring comedy writer (gotta do something with this satirical, quirky humor of mine) who has heard from numerous people that I should look into stand-up comedy. We'll see. I'm also a huge animal lover, have worked in Marine Mammal Husbandry & I have a pretty cool story about almost being attacked by a sea lion.

While I've never worked professionally with a sports team the door is more than open for any & all opportunities to do so. I do have an extensive background in Customer Service and some experience with programming (HTML basics, mostly).

I also regard myself as a know-it-all regarding "The Simpsons". I'm like Rain Man when it comes to that show, not saying I'm an idiot savant. Just that I'm awesome. Tina Fey is also my she-ro.

Oh, they stopped reading 2 paragraphs ago? Okay, sorry. The door's over there right? Thanks.