When it comes to self-esteem and assertiveness, you might be wondering which one to learn first. It's quite easy to assume that confidence and assertiveness are the same thing but they're actually very different. You have to understand the differences between the two if you want to develop good communication skills with others.

The non-aggressive definition is just having assertiveness or self-esteem in a non-aggressive way. Most folks think of assertiveness as shouting at your kids or demanding that your spouse pay more attention to you, but this is not necessarily the case. Assertiveness training actually teaches assertiveness, not aggression. That's important to keep in mind when you're dealing with aggressive behaviors or thinking about how you should deal with people who are acting in an aggressive manner.

While there's no doubt that assertiveness training can help you, there's also good evidence that using a clinical treatments package can increase your effectiveness. A clinical treatments package includes everything you need to treat and cure social anxiety disorders. A manualized treatment package doesn't.

Most people use a standard therapies package for managing their anxiety and depression. Those include relaxation techniques like meditation and yoga, positive thoughts and solutions to standard problems like everyday communication challenges. A clinical treatment package also offers a variety of stand-alone or addition strategies to deal with those situations where you may be especially sensitive or feel particularly vulnerable. These situations include office politics or public speaking situations where you may be uncomfortable making eye contact or speaking aloud.

But researchers have found that there is a growing trend toward self-directed, self-help, and cognitive-behavioral techniques as the primary approach to dealing with these kinds of problems. The best example of this has been seen in the growth of the self-help movement over the past 20 years or so. Since the 1970s, thousands of publications per year have been written on the subject. Many of those books have concentrated on teaching assertiveness training, including its role in correcting communication problems and improving interpersonal relationships. Some have also focused on how assertiveness training can benefit children.