Assertive Speaking

Have you always felt uncomfortable standing up for yourself and not allowing someone else to infringe on you? Have you sometimes misunderstood a boss or customer and then immediately responded in a negative way that added to your unease or caused a big emotional response? If so, it is because you are not a good speaker and not good at public speaking. You are the worst possible speaker and should be ashamed of yourself. You need to take some time and get better.

You have been taught all of those things and have done all of those things without thinking about the effect it might have on you now. It is time that you put some thought into your performance of assertive speaking. If you never thought about doing it before, you should now. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Some of the effects of being a poor or even an aggressive assertive speaker are very subtle. They can be hard to detect until you try it is too late to change anything. When you are anxious about getting someone's attention or improving your relationship with a person, you often say things without meaning to. Even if you mean what you say and are trying to improve the relationship, your actions often indicate that you are trying to make use of your words to take control. You have a hard time accepting that you are not assertive enough and that makes you uncomfortable.

When you are not assertive but engage in active listening, you will more easily accept that there is an issue and you will be more able to deal with it. You do not yell at anyone when you are passive in communication. When you are actively listening and taking the time to listen to another person, you tend to have a much better conversation because you can more easily hear the other person's feelings and ideas clearly.