Jennifer Hill

Lafayette, colorado

Jennifer Hill

Lafayette, colorado

With me pretty much what you see is what you get. I am a sensitive, caring woman who sometimes wears her heart on her sleeve. ? Is that a saying?? i dunno ... but I by watching my father lead by example changed my life a whole lot. I was a Daddy's girl from day one.. and I never grew up! It took the loss of my father to force me to take a long hard look at myself. And it isn't pretty or I will say it wasn't pretty. When you wake up every morning and look into the mirror at someone you don't even recognize anymore.... I used to be an incredibly selfish person everything was about ME ME ME... and when all you do is take and never give back people get tired of you really quick. I self medicated from all the pain of the violence I have experienced in my life and became an addict. I am NOT ashamed of that it was just my way of coping at the time. But what i am ashamed of is what I put those near and dear to me through. I broke hearts that didn't deserve to be broken, I lost years with my loved ones that I cannot have back. But It woke me up!! I am convinced that that was my lot in life... that I had to experience all of it to finally grow and really become a woman i can be proud of today. Addiction is a disease Its killing more and more people everyday and it knows no societal boundaries. Rich, poor, middle class , lower class it doesn't play favorites... It just sucks the life right out of your very soul... you feel dead and empty inside.. and Its a vicious cycle.. You have to get clean for yourself... I tried it for everyone i loved and it didn't work but when I hit my knees and told the Lord okay God You win I'm ready Please help me..I have never had very high self esteem and in fact i still don't today. But you have to LOVE YOURSELF enough to take care of YOURSELF. Nobody's perfect; some addicts die... but its not because they didn't want better for themselves its because they just didn't have any more fight left. I am very grateful that my father got to experience his "new Daddy's girl" for a few years before he passed away. I know he still worried about me and He knew his death would devastate me but I made promises to him and have never broken them. I am still a work in progress but who isn't? Today I can say I love ME!!!! God Bless