Barbara Jean Lanz
Barbara Jean has had an interesting 60 years on the planet. Among her many accomplishments is a 30 year carreer as a CRNA (certified registered nurse anesthetis), raising a son and two step daughters, and now has 6 grandchildren. Her commitment to her own growth and development saw her back in school where she graduated in 2010 with her Bachelors in Social Work, and has continued on for her MA in Counseling.
Relationship-School is an outgrowth of her own experiences and life. "I just didn't know", she states. "I didn't know how to not withdraw in a relationship, and I did not know that I was so angry. I was passively accepting a life that was not who I came to the planet to be". Her journey to empowerment and the ability to create her life has been a journey with many ups and downs, all of which have served to give her a unique ability to help others imagine and achieve a life of their dreams. "It can be done", she states.
Currently in her last semester of intenship she is working with the court ordered domestic violence abusers. After hearing story after story, about problems in relationships, the conclusion she drew was that they need information. Their lives are dictated by outworn coping skills and patterns that are no longer serve them. They became convinced that power and control could get them the life they wanted. Usually they come from abusive and neglectful homes and are continuing the only patterns and reactions they know. We learn Reading, wRiting and aRithmatic in school, but rarely do we actively learn Relationships.
There is a great need for research, to find what kind of program is needed to work with abusive men and women. Does a 26 week program, one hour a week, change them and their behavior? Research shows currently a very small percentage of change from the programs that have been developed. Yes, violence needs to stop, so how does society go about changing the elements of life that happen before the abuse ever starts. And how do we reach potential victims before the abuse starts? I see a really big need for research, into a topic that no one wants to talk about.
On a personal note: I love my grandkids, the ocean, rivers and streams, camping, hiking, and just don't have enough time to do everything I want to do in life. At 60 I should be slowing down, and I haven't even gotten started in the career of my choice!