I am not the famous baseball player. I am not a softball coach. I am not a trumpet player for hire. I do not live in Australia. I do not live in Florida. I do not live in England. I do not live in Georgia. I do not own a carport. I do not own a rental property. I do not have a wife named Meena. My middle name does not start with a C. I did not work for Brinks as a software developer. However, I am one of the best software developers in the world. I know every computer language and everything about networks and large-scale parallel processing.