Cathy Turner

I'm struggling. What is around the bend? FAITH is what is around the bend - God is in control. Not ME, Not OTHERS. Sometimes I feel I live this secret life that must be kept quiet. Unbelief abounding when it comes to what we are going through. THAT is the worst feeling anyone can give to another, We, who have invisible disabilities, are like a secret club.... we don't dare talk to anyone unless we know they are going through the same. It splits families, because it's too uncomfortable to speak of. Or others speak , give advice, get upset if their advice isn't followed, yet forget you might have the real story and your doctors may have specific instructions!

Please join me, as we can be validated on feelings, the bends in the road, and what is on YOUR mind. What keeps you on track? In the early years of TBI, I couldn't pray. There wasn't much of a thought process. Each morning, God put a song in my heart, and I would KNOW IT perfectly. I realized THAT was my prayer. Doctors wondered "how can you be so positive.....Because God is on my side. That doesn't mean there are bad days, but the reality of coping came from a source I love. Some confuse "smiling and happy" with no pain. I can be happy because of the gift given to me each day.... Happiness looks different in the struggle.

2001, I was hit 3 times and went across the freeway twice. I was calm and knew I would die. What a shock when I was still here~!

What I didn't know, was the future would not be fun, therapy wojld not be
be easy (nor work). Especially with PT's who didn't understand enough about my situation. Even a doctor didn't listen, and a funeral was thought about in my mind and on paper. I'm here because someone listened at the last minute. Suing doesn't make a smart doctor. Check out that story!

I LOOK GOOD ON THE OUTSIDE, BUT I'M A MESS ON THE INSIDE. TRY CONVINCING THAT TO ANYONE! :) I'm glad for the lessons I've learned and appreciate more of the blood that was shed for the dirt I'm am. I'm glad for this gift of Chronic Illness/Pain, because of what it has worked into my life that has made me a little more aware of the unseen.

And I could NOT have done it without my special caregiver, my husband, Charles, who fell in love with me when we met at age 6 years old. Married in December of 1976 at the ripe age of 18~! ! Grandchildren have been a consolation here on earth! And a Service Dog! Pain Pump....etc... Life doesn't have a plan shown to us.

Cathy