Charlotte Brookes

Hello, my names Charlotte but some people tend to call me Chas for short. i was born in Princess Alexandra Hospital located in Harlow, Essex on the 27th December 1995.

I have a very bubbly personality and love to get to know people. However since leaving secondary school my confidence seemed to go down hill. I was now in the real world and i was studying Health and Social Care at Harlow College. i must have spent about six months there until realising the course was too academic for me. After telling my tutor i wanted to leave the college she gave me some work so i could at least get a pass out of my six months present in college. i done all that and i was then stuck struggling with money thinking i was useless. i tried so hard to get a job so i could help out with my family. i had no luck. i spent the rest of the year doing nothing and again i felt useless, felt like i had failed with everything.

In December, after trying so hard to find a job, i found an apprentice academy in Loughton. I applied and interview went extremely well, i was due to start the academy in the next month, in January. When i started this academy i was so nervous not knowing anyone but i got on with it. i tried to be independent and show my parents i can help them. show them that i was willing to do anything to help survive.

Again... i wanted to leave the academy, it was too hard. i then every night cried myself to sleep. Thinking to myself what am i doing, i am ruining my life by giving up to easily. i gave myself a litte slap and stayed another month. This is when i got bad. I felt suicidal. i felt broken. i had clients coming in to the academy to have their hair cuts and i was a mess. I couldnt focus. I started to lose my mind. I again had to speak to my tutor telling her i couldnt do it no more. I broke down into tears she comfort me and told me its my choice what i want to do with my life. No one can make me do anything i dont want to do. So i left...

A week after leaving i become very ill. Was so ill i couldnt move from my bed. i kept thinking to myself people are now going to think im faking my illness to get out of a job. i werent. i booked an apointment with the doctors and had a few tests going on. My GP gave me posiblities in which i sobbed and sobbed until i could hardly breathe. This is when i thought i cant do this no more. im 18 years old i need to start looking after myself. Need to stop relying on other people, so i tried.