Charlotte Rose Quider

Who am I really? And what am I “about”?

At any precise moment I can’t say exactly as I’m still meandering along finding different aspects of “me” along my way … a little insight here as I pass over a bump in the road; bigger bumps, bigger insights…a little life “aha” lesson as I experience Berkeley periodically with my darling daughter who is studying architecture there.

Some facts that are indisputable… the long awaited 50th birthday has come and gone (how DID that happen!) and I’m not a blonde as some older photos might suggest! I’m finally, mostly, content in my own skin with my “real” hair color, and the size and shape God has given me; still trying to airbrush the details but OK with the overall package. I find I either have to take the whole package of me as is or I’m left fighting small battles with myself that only make life’s bumps bumpier and don’t erase the signs of experience that write themselves along my eyes and hairline.

I have one darling biological daughter who follows in my footsteps, and those of her maternal grandmother, with her own photography skills and creativity. Unlike her mom, however, my girl is gifted at math and fine motor skills and so is pursuing her architectural dream at UC Berkeley – and I couldn’t be prouder of the woman she is becoming. I have a wonderful husband who has the courage, strength, endurance and love enough to hold my hand without letting go as I make my way along. With him came my step-daughter, who, though I frequently don’t understand or relate to as easily as my own daughter, ironically in many ways is more like me than the child I gave birth to. She, without her ever having the knowledge of it, has taught me much about myself. Both the girls are the same age (insta-twins) and settling into their Senior year of college and their respective routines.

Some time ago, we lost our beloved furry “baby” when our pint sized ball of fur, Daisy, passed away. Regardless that she is not here in body, her spirit lingers in all wonder and joy in our lives. We miss her terribly but never lose sight of the lessons she taught us in those days when she’d wait patiently for her “daddy” to take her for a walk and how she never, ever, lost sight of her enthusiasm and joy in it. That character trait in my furry girl I will always strive to achieve myself; consistent, abundant, “dance in circles” j