Christine Ling

Christine(Lizard) LING is of Chinese and Russian origin but spent her childhood living in South Africa, until she migrated to Australia at the age of 12. When she was 16 years old she discovered she was a quadruple threat. She could sing, dance, act and cook. Her dream is to combine all of these talents to create one super artform; ‘ready, steady cook, dance, sing, act! (DACS)’. Christine was the youngest member to be accepted into the guild of DACS Warriors.

Christine was a DACS member for only 2 years until she was kicked out due to her increased obsession with Robert Downie Jr. This obsession continued for another 14 years, during this time Christine collected personal possessions of the famous actor of the Ebay website and from private collectors. Christine was eventually arrested for breaking into Robert Downie Jr’s private apartment where she attempted to place a voodoo love curse on the actor. She was sentenced to jail for 7 years, during which time she studied political science and gained her PHD.

After Christine was released from jail she was offered a job at Oxford university as a political science lecturer. During her time at Oxford Christine developed an intense romantic relationship with Thomas Kensington who was studying Creative arts. The relationship remained secret for 7 years, until the dean of the university walked in on the two in sexual congress in the admissions office. Both Christine and Kensington were kicked out of Oxford, after which they chose to run away to Germany where they decided to marry. Here the two met Jess Miller and Mike Wazowski. Together the three founded Hairy Thing dance collective, known at the time as Das Hairy Strudel Dans Collective.

After two years of performing contemporary dance work throughout Europe, the three decided to move to Melbourne, Australia. Whilst collecting their luggage at the airport Mike was attacked and mauled to death by 14 airport security dogs. Christine successfully sued airport security for 5.8 million dollars, but she unfortunately lost the money by sending it by express post to her private P.O box. She again successfully sued Australia post for 7.0 million dollars, but decided to gamble the funds at the 2010 Melbourne Cup – She lost the money.

Currently Christine is still working with Hairy Thing Dance Collective, where she is helping to produce A Bachelor of Lizards for the 2013 Melbourne Fringe Festival. This work will be her first public appearance since