Crockett Magnolia

My name is synonymous with Panthers football of the 60's-- hard hitting and on hard drugs.

I was banned from the NFL in 1965 for my controversial views about the Vietnam War. Also for gambling and hard drugs.

I made a fortune off my Bojangles franchises, but lost most of it buying a bunch of Amway crap from Sue Myrick. I have three ex-wives, two artificial hips and one prescription for Viagara.

If my stats weren't officially stricken from the record books, I'd still be the franchise leader for career ejections (12), fumbles in one play (4), wins against the Falcons by a starting QB (10) and longest run from scrimmage (78 yards).

I was born in Charlotte in 1938 and currently reside at an assisted living community that's too cheap to get the football package.

I'm banned from area Harris Teeters, once drove Queens Road in an '83 Ford Thunderbird for 36 hours while on peyote, and Ric Flair knows I can still kick his ass!