Twenty-two years ago, I accepted that I would never drink like a lady, or ever again. This is called a paradigm shift. You hit a wall and turn left.

So I stumbled on the steps - which proved so useful I thought, what a pity you have to be an alcoholic to get them! They’re twelve spiritual principles, deceptively simple, immeasurably wise.

So if you’re a drunk or an addict, or just someone who loves one, this is my hope to bring them to light. And because my son said write your blurts on a blog. It's easy. Oh yeah? Do a hundred crunches! So he did.

We share our stories because it helps. We don’t feel so stupid or alone. We become alchemists, transmuting pain into a life that goes on. Quitting behaviour that could never have healed us. Learning stuff.

"Go meditate,” they said.
I pictured my hand on a hotplate, holding it there. Yet now I sit, watching my thoughts till they burst like bubbles. Other days I nuke the village.

My journey doesn't go from the bottom up, it's inside out. Because I'm already there. All that time I spent looking for me, I was the one who was looking.