Conor Wang

My Final Will

I, Conor J. Wang, hereby leave all my earthly possessions to Henry and Joshua. I'd like for my kidneys to be donated to the Kidney Thieves. I'd also like for my kidneyless body to be donated to "science" (Your mom's combination gun range/playground).

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Of my earthly possessions, here are the most notable.

• Diamond Encrusted Plug
• Battle Cats Inquiry Code (3d9a6b7n)
• Orange Juice I left under radiator for 2 years
• Fine non-descript alcoholic beverage
• Drug
• Candy
• Glasses
• Crayola Pencil
• Bug Sox

x_C҉҉o҉҉n҉҉o҉҉r҉҉ ҉҉W҉҉a҉҉n҉҉g҉҉ _ (signature)

My Self-Written Obituary

If youse is readint thiss then I am not alive (deceesd). Meesa probably dieded from low IQ, but I grate heroe. Me saved Romanian orphans from a burning romanian orphanage andt i saveded Rachel frum Nort Koreae. Me numba one heero from America Cowbody texas Cool. I run for president. I win. President. of pen spin club. I good leader. Da best!! I also danecing. Miso good. Do youse want too here a joke? What haz 2 wings and a halo? An Asian Telephone! "Wing Wing! Halo?". Ha Ha Ha. Bing Bong ching chong wuhan coronavirus. Xing Xong ching cheng hanji shashumga 种族主义. Aneeway, I go straight to hell. Me didnt want to but here is da truth: All daneczers go to hell. (except for them gud wuns). (not me dough). .

Conor's Eulogy

Man, was Cunning Conman Conor a bad human. He was rotten to the core. He set a Romanian Orphanage on fire and then deported Rachel to North Korea. He also assassinated his political rivals and committed election fraud. He was incredibly racist and I'll be digging up his grave later tonight.