Insane Artist

I am a daughter, mother, and wife. I have 3 children, step children, and I am married. I have been “diagnosed” as having Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar 1 since my teens. Recently, I have been actively questioning if the “apple falls far from the tree”? And if so, what does this mean to my children?

I did relatively well until having children…meaning I was more controlled and hid things better. Not sure if it was hormones, change in brain chemistry, going years without being medically treated…however, once I began having my children…I spiraled out of control.

I did the years of self-medicating and self-harming to cope. Alcohol, drugs (I rationalize, as my BPD has me do, that I didn’t ever do the “hard core” drugs), illicit sex, starving myself, cutting myself, etc.

The funny thing is…NO ONE NOTICED. Yea, I was secretive, BUT…

Now, I’ve become obsessed with learning about what makes me, ME and how to prevent it from destroying my own children and husband.

This blog that I’m starting will most likely be as enjoyable as a roller coaster ride. At this time, with my current medications, I am a rapid cycler, which means I may be positive and upbeat in my posts and then not even 2 hours later, I may post negativity and “life sucks mantras”.

KEEP IN MIND…this IS real and affects more mothers than realized.