MSG & MMFIC US Army, English Teacher, retired. Cyclist & bike tinkerer. Archer & bowyer. Photographer. Latte art critic. Expert marksman. A1 cook. Writer. Sage.

... Here I must metaphorically take a deep breath because our most recently subscribed readers to the Almost-Daily-Sometimes Morale Support Bulletin should be brought up to speed on the soap opera that my life has become, currently aptly titled The Bent and The Breathless (formerly titled As The Turd Whirls, formerly formerly titled The Dumb and The Witless, and known in questionably lip-synced Italian syndication as Il Cretino di Cicchi-Cicchi Boom-Boom) in order that they might understand how the Almost-Daily-Sometimes Morale Support Bulletin came to be. Thus, I synopsize:

In the spring of the year of our Lord/God/DoG/Lob/the Universal Oversoul/All-That-Is CE 2014, through a confluence of malevolentspirits, bad ju-ju, and even worse karma, I was forced to throw in the towel on my brief teaching career and go on disability, pending retirement. But every hydrocarbon saturated black cloud has its silver lining, and in my case I was not so much reluctantly propelled as leapt eagerly into a post-career life of leisure consisting of relaxed morning bicycle rides, latte art and coffee porn critique, copious afternoon wine consumption, and the occasional whipped yogurt bath or hot honeycomb ear hair and eyebrow management treatment.

Wishing to share my good fortune with my former colleagues still struggling to escape the bizarre alternate universe of insanity known as WorkadayWorld, and wanting to brighten their otherwise dismal days by rubbing their noses in my newfound freedom, I began sending the odd email to them in illustration that there was infact light at the end of the tunnel and they could vicariously view that dim hope of salvation through the lens of my ever more excessive retired debauchery. Consequently, I donned the heavy mantle of Morale Support Officer, a grave and unsung responsibility not for the faint of heart. It's really a very tough, though ultimately smugly satisfying, gig.

Having now dragged these demented and often inarticulate screeds onto the Internet, I hope I can now cast a ray of sunshine into YOUR otherwise gloomy and depressing existence in WorkadayWorld, and show you how utterly fantastic life can be here in non-working LeisureLand.

Uh ... that's about it. Yeah.

Dale