DaraLynn

Growing up is hard. I am very glad that the hardest part is over. The ages of 14 to 18 were very difficult for me. I struggled to figure out who I was and where I belonged in the world, all the while being assaulted by my female hormones, both emotionally and physically....my body and brain were changing....my sexuality was changing....I felt like a misfit in the world....and I felt alone. The one thing that helped me through those years was writing. Whenever I felt alone or sad I would pick up a pen and talk to the paper because I had so much inside of me that had to come out and the paper would not judge me and would listen to my rants, quietly and respectfully.

I dedicate these words, written at the ages of 15 and 16, to my wonderful and special niece, Nicole.

Inside of You (written in 1976 at the age of 15)

Inside of you, trying to get out. Just sitting there, inside of you. Making you crazy, making you shake. On the border between exploding and sleeping, thinking, thinking, growing hot. Crying, writing, trying to let out, the things in you, that you don't know about.

I'm Trying (Nov 1976)

Please be patient, can't you see, try to understand me. I can't work things out, I just want to shout, if you try to help me, I'll try not to pout.

I don't like people, I'd much rather be alone, it's easier to think, when you're on your own.

It' nice out today, it's breasy, it's warm, it's nice out today, I hope it doesn't storm.

I like writing poems, cause I can express myself. It's fun saying what you feel, it's no big deal.

School is no fun anymore, it's a real bore, cause my brain is broken, I don't know why, no matter how hard I try, I just can't think, I'm as dumb as the bathroom sink.

Alone (1976)

You're by yourself but you never know it, Time may pass but you'll never show it, the thing to do is try and outgrow it. But you know you can't, you've tried before, tried so many times to get through that door.

People may laugh at you because you're strange, talk behind your back and say you're deranged. They know you're lonely but why should they care, whenever you speak, you speak to the air.

You try not to get sad too much, cause people get mad and make alot of fuss, but when you're sad, you really get sad, and make people mad around you.