Dustin Winn

I am a man of many varied skills. I am a night owl. A predator whom swoops down from above in the still of the nocturne. Whereas a normal person may say, "By day I may be this, but at night, I am that." For myself, it is just the opposite. My "Day" job is at night.

I work in the blowmolding department at Sun Laundry Products. What is blowmolding, you ask? Why Blowmolding is the subtle art of taking small bits of plastic, melting them down, extruding them in a tube, filling the resulting tube full of air (hence the "Blow" part) inside a water cooled mold, and creating a plastic receptacle for the containment of laundry detergent.

By day? Well, by day I have a vastly more interesting repertoire of sundry skills. First and foremost, I am an expert in all aspects of the repair and maintenance of advanced computational devices. Computers, folks. You got a broken one, I'll fix it right up for you. If the price is right, of course. No free rides, ladies and gentlemen.

I am also musically inclined. From Country to Hip-Hip to Trancendental Industrial Crunge and everything in between. So, should your desires be for an ear blessing, I have the cure for what ails you.

Last but certainly not least, I am a master of the ministerial arts. As an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church, I may perform wedding ceremonies. And as my ordination is a bit unorthodox, and as I have a bit of a flare for the dramatic, I am open to performing ceremonies which may be less than traditional. Want to have your knots tied by a Jedi or Grover Cleveland or Peter Griffen? I'm your guy.

That about sums it up, folks. Tune in next time for more thrills and adventure with the one and only, Dustin Scott Winn. May the Fourth be with you.