Erik Hinds

I am really good at pointing out the shortcomings of others behind their back. I am grossly insensitive and will absolutely not tolerate tolerence. I often wait too long between haircuts and my last three wives died under unusual circumstances. If I had one wish in life, it would be to die in a horrific combine accident. Stevie Ray Vaugh's cover of Little Wing should be played at my funeral, which will be closed to everyone except the undertaker and his boombox.

Seriously though, I have questionable juddgement and bad intentions. You'd be wise to steer clear because if you let me near, I will infect your soul and shake you to your core. There is no cure for me.