Ethan Schaeffer

"The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept."

-George Carlin

"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap."

-Bob Hope

"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."

-Groucho Marx

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

-Douglas Adams