I started stuttering at the age of 4. The usual therapies didn't work. The more anxious I became, the more I stuttered and the more my anxiety levels rose. School was an ordeal with breaks spent in the library, feeling terribly isolated.

Because I could not ask questions, I become very observant, picking up what I wanted to know by non-verbal cues.

At varsity, I planned to do my Masters in telepathy. My favourite lecturer wanted to be my study promoter, but supporting something like this would cost him his job.

I planned to study further at a Parapsychology institute in Switzerland and was all set, when a clear voice said to me - 'No - not yet'!

Awed by this direct intervention, I put my dream on hold. Since my stutter had still not disappeared, I taught guitar. I married and raised children, divorced, ran a Reiki practice, married, did indigenous landscaping, divorced and became a permaculture consultant.

My growing up years had numbed me. I learnt about being human. became more compassionate, less quick with advice and more respectful of others’ paths.

Through it all, my calling stayed constant. Sometimes I almost wished it away. I yearned to be content with a 'normal' existence, exchanging gossip with my girlfriends and watching TV.

I felt like a spiritual being having a human experience surrounded by human beings who, when stumbling on a spiritual experience, quickly got up, dusted themselves off and carried on as if it never happened.

I inevitably ended up coaching everyone around me. Not able to change my reality out there by speaking up, I found a different way. I discovered that often, simply by changing my inner attitude, external obstacles dissolved.

31 years later, I certified as a lifecoach. This meant that I had to speak - a lot. With EMDR therapy I treated the anxiety underlying my stutter. I 'came out'.

Since my stutter is intermittant, I had kept it hidden and felt hugely humiliated every time it ambushed me. Everyone now knows how they can make speaking easier for me. Finally creating a safe environment for myself, has made all the difference.

I have learnt that

- vulnerability is attractive

- a survival mentality limits our potential

- inner alchemy is so powerful, it frees us to fly