Hila Tiller

I started playing lacrosse in 5th grade. I cried when my mom told me she had signed me up and I would be starting that next week. Shy, little middle school me was terrified of starting an unfamiliar sport with a bunch of unfamiliar girls and to make matters worse, I had to carpool with one of them. It was truly my version of torture. However, that first day, I found that I really enjoyed the sport.

Becoming a part of that team was one of the best decisions—”desision” being a loose term because it was more my mom’s than mine—I had made. Lacrosse became a constant in my life; January until May I played for my school, May until August I played in the summer season for my club team, and then fall season began in October and lasted until December. It was Tuesday/Thursday practices, weekends away, road trips, and early morning flights that became my normal from middle school until junior year of high school.

For me, lacrosse was never as deep of a life commitment as it was for some of the other girls, and during the fall season of my junior year was when I began to understand it wasn’t all fun and games anymore. To my teammates, lacrosse was college opportunities and scholarships. At first I found it exciting; college scouts coming to watch my game!? Along with everyone else, the overwhelming need to impress sucked out any enjoyment I had in playing the sport I loved. Cutthroat competition replaced the fun and a toxic dynamic took over the team bond we had created over the past years.

I stopped playing club lacrosse after that season and decided to focus on my school team. I was voted team captain both my junior and senior years, happy to ensure a healthy and fun environment for the whole team. My senior year lacrosse season was by far my favorite year of lacrosse I had ever played, and it wasn’t because we went undefeated or won the state championship. It was laughing until our coach yelled at us, crying uncontrollably during senior speeches, and the overall bond we created that made that year so memorable. That season was the reason I am so grateful for lacrosse.