Haymitch Abernathy

Hello. My name is Haymitch (or so the name I call myself these days). I, unfortunately, cannot disclose my real identity for the fear of being hurt or killed (okay, maybe the "killing" part is a bit exaggerated).

I like the name Haymitch. Yes, I got it from the Hunger Games books. I love his lines, love how he's smart enough to survive something that may be seen by other people as "un-survivable". I want to be as strong as that, which is why I need something that will help me voice out my thoughts.

I've got three very trusted friends, one of them already passed on due to pneumonia. That leaves me with two more, and you may ask, why not share your angst with them?

I don't know. Maybe it's because it's been a long time since I've actually had "social interaction". I haven't actually seen these two souls for ages, and though we communicate through text, chat, FB and all, I still prefer some face to face conversations. I still wish to see someone's reaction to what I say, hear someone's laughter when I tell a joke, or have a shoulder to lean on when I am reduced to tears.

So why do I write still? I'm guessing there will be lesser chances of having more human interaction with me in the coming years - realizing that the most
interesting conversation I've had for the last 4 years was whenever I order something in McD's or when I discuss my internet connection with customer service.

Why do I call myself "the monster"? I couldn't find a good word for now. I've always been a very calm, soft spoken person but recently I realized how much of a "monster" I could be.

The pages you will be reading contain my random thoughts, my daily episodes of transforming into a "monster" - 'monster mom', 'monster wife', 'monster friend', 'monster writer'- monster anything!

Thank you for taking time to read my thoughts. I hope you can relate to some of them. Please do not hesitate to "calm me down" or give your two cents. I would really, really appreciate your thoughts, too.