I was Born on Friday November 5th, 1982. At 10AM. In Saratga New Yonrk. I raised in a small town called, Ballston Spa. Good ol' town. I loved it. I thought it was reallly nice, safe, and had good schools. The people were all really nice. They did fun community stuff like. The Village Wide Garage Sale... Everyone knew each other.
I lived in a mobile home park. LOVED IT. PROUD. Thank You, Thank You. I come from a Double Wide on the West Side!!! Haha I loved that all your friends were right there. There was Always someone to play with. You went to school togather and your parents didn't care if you were not on your street. Just as long as you stayed in the park.
I was a Very Energetic, Active, Inquizitive little girl. I always asked 50 million questions. People would ask me. Why do you ask so many questions?. I thought about it but, still dont know why, just felt the urge to question everything. I was natually a happy person. Growning up near my mom, that changed.
Unfortunaly she was a glass half empty type of chick. Its cool. I dont blame her, Well at the time I did. But i know now. That you only know what is taught to you. And what is taught to you is what you see, on a daily bassis. So my mom went with what she knew.
I knew from a very young age that there was a WAAAY Deeper meaning to life and that I was someone who would figure it out. I knew that there was a connection that we have with the creator. I remeber vivdly sitting and being broken down and saying...YOUR ADULT LIFE WILL BE AMAZING. I talked stright to my older self some how. To make sure i got a message that would later help me. The trick is living by example, and spending time with your kids.
I knew that my moms frustration was slowly wearing on me too. I would often match her I dont give a fuck attitude. It was good, dont get me wrong. Noone messed with me. But you eventually get lonely and you start hating yourself. I realized in 2009 that you can change your thoughts and habits that you have formed. It is not really something you are born with. We are all born happy and joyous. I just hadnt been shown anything different yet. And it would be up to me, to find out how to love. And then show others.
I often found love in material items. Oh you got me this, that means you love me. Or Sex. That made me feel loved....in the moment. All not good for my soul. As individuals we need to love ourselves before we will be able to take out the s