Ben Myers
- Aspiring broadcaster
- Bacon enthusiast
- Music producer
- Writer
- Fan of insufferable sports teams
- Conspiracy theorist
- Ron Paul supporter
- Detlef Schrempf fan club member
- Collector of vintage tee shirts
- Make-believe general manager of New York Mets, Dallas Cowboys, and New York Knicks
- Winner of countless Madden tournaments
- Owner of numerous great ideas