I am mother to a lovely little girl with special needs and grandmother to two wonderful grand-littles. I'm learning to be in supportive adult relationships with my two grown kids.
I'm on a healing and recovery journey from toxic codependency. I left the "romantic" aspect of the relationship I'd had with the father of my youngest daughter in December 2013. We are still very much enmeshed due to the needs of our daughter, as well as our individual issues that have bound us together for nearly two decades.
After making that transition, I was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder and PTSD in early 2014. A combination of other health conditions combined to create Metabolic Syndrome, which was also identified in 2014. I've lived with Fibromyalgia since 1990.
Due to the combination of all these things, I have not been "gainfully employed" since June 2012 and have lived without an income for the past two years; surviving on what the "ex" contributes, SNAP benefits, public housing, and the generosity of friends. In other words, I've learned to rely on the grace and provision of God.
Consequently, I've reached the point where I know that no matter how low I go or how much I lack, there is always someone I can help to lift up and I always have something to offer.
I carry no shame or stigma for the mental health diagnoses or for the chaotic and dysfunctional life I've lived. These things have shaped me and I've had to work hard to heal from the trauma and drama I've gone through and created. However, I am not defined by them.
i'm stronger, wiser, and more empathetic because of them. I can love more deeply, forgive more compassionately, and live more intentionally because I have learned there is purpose in the pain and that God doesn't waste a wound.
(Photo: 11/26/2015, age: 46)