Ashish Sharma

hello me ashish. I am doing B.tech.

I was very serious about my study when i was in high-school.This sensitivity came inside me during high-school.But due to some reasons i couldn't get good percentage there.I didn't loose my hope to get good marks.But i was making a mistake that was that study want your mind and concentration not your emotions. i started to loose everything from here.

now i was dying for study learning day and night ,college, tuitions.i lost my mental and physical health.it is the thing about 2004 when i was in intermediate. Just half session was gone and my condition was on the ground level no charge no energy.teacher was saying that i used to continuously see one side like i am in comma. than i took prescription of a doctor.it didn't work.i passes one year with the same doctor.during this i got failed in intermediate.till than i have understood that i have lost everything of my life and of my career ,everything. i can't explain what i was feeling.I was about to decide for committing suicide.
when i live in college i used to feel like there is everywhere fire and i am burning.i passed round about one year like this.after getting failed i tried to join college but i couldn't many days.then i leave to go to college.Teachers adjusted with it because they knew my condition.they let me appear in the exams.i left one exam.i got fail again.than i took a new doctor's prescription.my school's principal suggested me.these medicine were good gave me much mental energy.i started learning.i got passed in +2 in 2007 by correspondence.
i entered in b.tech in 2008 in ECE trade.I Know that a fault has occurred in mind and it is taking its time. medicines course is in process.they don't help me enough now.i feel a lot of in-satisfaction in my life.that is due to mental problem.

From my childhood i couldn't justify to suicide, cause of that i am still in confusion about it. my thinking is that life is ever beautiful whether i am in depression.In a day i think about this problem thousand time positively.that i will defeat it and every day i go to college.i know i can't study. but i tried. every time i try to learn .i know i will forget everything what i tried to learn .