Dani Hahn

Six thousand eight hundred sixteen days ago, the first American-born Santa (mother's maiden name) was born. Before then, I had ten cousins, but now I have had at least 20 little cousins whom I have either grown with or only seen once. Growing up with that many people in your life sounds difficult. How are you supposed to discover who you are and what you like when your mother is one of twelve?

For starters, I was the first American born and second oldest, only to my sister, who is almost a decade older than me. If anything, I was the older cousin who took care of the younger ones and told them what I liked. However, I was the only one not of complete European descent. As my last name suggests, I am also Asian, so my life has been filled to the brim with culture and history since Day 1. This created self-identity questions about who I am and whether that changes depending on whether I am with my mother or father.

My first experience with this identity crisis happened during the Coronavirus Quarantine. With so much time on my hands, I spent a lot of time on YouTube and fed my K-pop addiction that was starting to bloom (and still going to this day). During this era, I spent most of my time alone in my apartment and occasionally going to my mother's, who was living with her brother. When I was with this side of the family, I wanted to share the music I loved and was helping me through COVID, but my uncle told me to "leave that type of music with your dad".

This and many similar instances shattered my world since I've shared European food and music with my father's family before, and they never halted me from expressing the other half of my genetic makeup. From that moment on, I resented my own family and was scared to continue sharing my interests with anyone who may not be inviting, which also hindered my social development when in-person learning started again.

Honestly, this has stayed true until last semester. When I came to the University of Georgia, I met a multitude of different personalities and backgrounds that were familiar and completely new! Starting with OL 8: Zac Aaron, who was a ray of sunshine reminded me that being happy and excited about my culture isn't something to be scared of. Then Jeannette Tsai, who I share a brain cell with, taught me you don't need everyone's approval to be happy.