Stout Herndon

Attorney Jokes

Q: So how exactly does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a lawyer?

A: She has an extreme craving for baloney.

Q: What's the legal meaning of Appeal?

A: Some thing someone falls on in a food store. Get new info on car accident lawyer by navigating to our stirring site.

Q: Why did God make snakes prior to lawyers?

A: To apply.

Q: What can you call an attorney with an IQ of 12?

A: Your Honor.

Q: Whats the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer costs more.

Q: What would you call a cheerful, sober, polite individual at a bar association meeting?

A: The caterer.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an attorney?

A: An offer you can not comprehend.

Q: What would you call an attorney gone bad?

A: Senator

Q: Did you hear they just released a fresh Barbie doll named 'Divorced Barbie'?

A: It is sold with half Ken's things and alimony.

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a pit bull?

A: Jewelry.

Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?

A: Watching your lawyer travel over a cliff in your new Ferrari.

Q: Whats the distinction between lawyers and accountants?

A: At the very least accountants know theyre dull.

Stories:

1. A person who had been caught embezzling millions went along to an attorney. His attorney informed him, 'Dont worry. Youll never visit prison with all that money? In fact, once the man was sent to prison, h-e didnt have a penny.

2. While the lawyer awoke from surgery, h-e asked, 'Why are all of the blinds drawn'? The nurse answered, 'There's a fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you'd died.'

3. To compare more, consider checking out: http://www.pivancouver.net. God chose to simply take the devil to judge and settle their differences once and for all. Satan heard this, laughed and said, 'And where do you think you're going to look for a lawyer'?

4. Legal counsel is sitting at the desk in his new office. He hears some body visiting the doorway. To impress his first possible client,