Jamie James

I never understood the whole phrase 'easy as pie'. Have you ever tried to make a pie? It's not at all easy. First you have the crust, which is no picnic, believe me. It has to be rolled and moist and chewy, while simultaneously being flaky and a perfect golden brown. Then, you have the filling, which needs to be chopped and sweet, but not too sweet. Heaven forbid!! What with the spices and the nutmeg and the hey, hey my tooth hurts!! And, the typical pie takes at least 45 minutes to bake adding mental anguish to what has already been a stressful endeavor. I guess it should be 'easy as Entenmann's' but even then you have to get up off the couch and drive to the store and more than likely have to deal with some pain in the ass brat bitching to his mom about how he/she isn't fat enough already and desperately needs the super sized 'Chunky' bar with raisins as the pre-teen sweat glistens from off of his/her portly brow. Let me assure you, there is nothing easy about that.

Maybe they should just stay away from pastry altogether...