James Morison

I used to think of babies as a powerful bond between the spouses, a way to strengthen relationships, and it was only when I had my first that I realized their coming to the world sometimes brings about the need to save the marriage. You would never believe that such a small, innocent and adorable creature could have a negative influence on your marriage, and, yet, it happens.

You come back from the hospital in pain, and you would give anything to have a couple of days just for you and your husband. Indeed, sex is out of the question, at least for the first couple of weeks, but that does not mean you do not need a hug, a kiss or a couple of nice words whispered against your ear.

Instead, you find yourself alone with the baby who needs to eat and have his/her diapers changed, and your husband sleeping in the other room, because he needs to rest for the long day waiting for him at work tomorrow. And just when you hope things get better, there is the guests avalanche knocking on your door to see the little miracle and check up on you.As nice as it is to see that they care, to receive gifts and discover that someone understands what you are going through, you would certainly kick them all out in exchange for an hour of sleep or cuddling in your husband's arms.How does that lead to the need to save the marriage? Small things build up! You are too tired to cook, to care for the way you look, to pay attention to your partner's needs and desires. You home turns messy and unwelcoming, you are always grouchy and dissatisfied, and, before you realize it, you start fighting with your husband for some of the most insignificant and stupid reasons.It is all common and understandable, just keep in mind that it is not the baby's fault, but yours, for bringing it to the world before being ready for it, for not being able to set your priorities straight, for not being able to meet you husband halfway and make him answer your needs.The great thing is that it is entirely up to you to turn the birth of your beautiful baby from the cause of your problems into the solution you were waiting for. That bright and innocent smile, those blurry and gorgeous eyes can bring you two together, can help you save the marriage, if you just learn to watch them together, to delve in their joy together.