If there were ever times that you knew your life was going to change forever, this was it for me....

I had lived a pretty crazy life up to this point- was raised rather "old school" by my grandparents (and bless their hearts for doing so, and to the best of their ability); was exposed to rather mature content via my parents drug induced lifestyle (hence, being raised by my grandparents); went to school and did fairly well, even participating in sports, band, clubs, etc.; started working in the food industry when I was 15 (this is a very important piece of the puzzle); got married fairly young for all of the wrong reasons (when you are 4 months pregnant, judgment in decision making is often skewed- similar to that of operating heavy machinery while intoxicated); gave birth to the most insane, wild, rambunctious, but yet sweet, loving and beautiful daughter, Alexis; got divorced shortly after her first birthday; spent almost three years working as hard as I have ever worked to move up the corporate ladder while still attempting to have a social life (specifically looking for my soul mate) but putting motherhood on the back burner; meeting my darling Wayne.....

And this is where the idea for the blog happens....

Alexis and I moved to Wayne's house in August of 2011. There were many ups and downs in the following months- adjusting to a new town, a longer commute, the mini "Brady bunch" adjustment period- but all of this was over shadowed often times by my health. For many months, I did not feel well mentally and physically. I knew that it wasn't anything that Wayne had done, and it wasn't the living situation. I sometimes thought that it could be work, but that too was questionable. I went for long periods of time where I felt happy, and then had these periods of "emotional outbursts" that I tried to explain in my head and to Wayne, but just didn't make sense. In February 2012, Wayne and I had a rather intense discussion one night about our future- it was good, bad and ugly all rolled up into about three hours that evening. We went to bed, both uncertain of what the future, let alone tomorrow, would have in store for us.

That evening, in the middle of the night, I woke up with intense pain in my right side/abdomen/back. I don't remember much about it specifically, but I know that I had never felt such intense pain, even when I was in labor. I remember going to the emergency room thinking that I must have a burst appendix or somet