J. Caleb Snyder

Fourth-year at the University of Georgia. Advertising and New Media. Unabashed brand marketing fanboy.

I tell brand stories. I connect people to make lives better. I gained experience during a summer internship at 55 Media, where I was a Digital Strategy Wizard, casting spells on Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook for budget granola bar distributors.

This semester I am employed as a CSS Knight Apprentice with Short Dog Digital, where I take orders from the firm's Chief Tech Mage and Assistant Web Druid to process server-side--

I don't know. I don't know what the hell it is I do there. I sort through emails and re-tweet articles about advertising stunts. I think Sony just sponsored something in Texas where people could electrocute death row inmates via the Experia Tablet S. This doesn't really sound like what a Knight should be up to.

My professors told me I have to brand myself to get a job. I guess my brand is Web-savvy, trendy, and design-obsessed, and holy shit I'm the exact same as every single person my age. My resume has had this "evangelist," "ninja," and "dreamer" horse shit on it for two years. The worst part is those words got me hired for two jobs. I once got hired by an Analytics Swami whose name was Doug and drove a Ford Taurus. I don't dream about Procter and Gamble products. I've tried to convince myself I give a shit about any of this for years, and it worked for a while, but now when I see an Old Spice magazine ad I can't bring myself to scan the QR code. Nobody does, so why should I?

The J.Caleb Snyder brand is clear and looks good on a cover letter, but I don't know who Josh Snyder is anymore.

Hire me if you have a real job that isn't named after anything from sci-fi or fantasy, and preferrably one that could tell me who the hell I am outside of re-tweeting General Mills blog posts.