The Meaning of “Worth” to a Hoarder

My full name is Joann Bo Ram Yang. Born to a Korean family in Los Angeles, California, my grandfather named me “Bo Ram” which means “worth” in my language. As his first grandchild of his first child, he named me “Bo Ram” because to him, I was the beginning of every worthy person in his life. Every year after I was born, a new worthy person was born, which meant more diapers to be changed and more trips to the park playground for him. As I become older, the meaning of my Korean name sets me down as an anchor and reminder of the different purposes of people, family, affection and existence in my life.

Since I am curious of the different meanings of different subjects in life, I garner almost everything. At a point, I realized I had infamous books, award-winning, torn Harry Potter books, old clothes I cannot even fit my head in, old journals, candy wrappers, toys, my third grade homework, awards I received in the third grade, buttons I collected from the King Tut Museum, pebbles from road trips, Las Vegas chips, coins, and the list goes on and on. I do not appreciate the idea of ridding objects that once brought me the small pleasures of life permanently. I admit. I am a hoarder of jaded objects and possessions, but I am also a hoarder of the memories and words that are invisible to the people who see the objects and possessions as “garbage.” The memories and words are like secrets between the ten year old Bo Ram and the 18 year old Bo Ram. We only know and can know of the secrets. That is my meaning of worth. The possessions, memories and secrets are worth keeping close and worth looking back because they were all worth more than a moment once in my life.