Banks Lysgaard
Attorney Cracks
Q: How does a pregnant woman know she is holding a attorney?
A: She has a severe desire for baloney.
Q: What is the legal meaning of Appeal?
A: Something a person moves on in a food store.
Q: Why did God make snakes right before lawyers?
A: To apply.
Q: What do you call an attorney with an IQ of 12?
A: Your Honor.
Q: Whats the difference between an attorney and a herd of buffalo?
A: The attorney charges more.
Q: What would you call a happy, sober, courteous individual at a bar association meeting?
A: The caterer.
Q: Why are attorneys like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with legal counsel?
A: An offer you can not understand.
Q: What would you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Senator
Q: Did you hear they only produced a fresh Barbie doll named 'Divorced Barbie'?
A: It comes with 1 / 2 of Ken's things and alimony.
Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and an attorney?
A: Jewelry.
Q: What's the definition of mixed feelings?
A: Watching your attorney travel over a cliff in your new Ferrari.
Q: Whats the difference between lawyers and accountants?
A: At the very least accountants know theyre dull.
Stories:
1. Clicking jobs law possibly provides cautions you could use with your friend. A guy who'd been caught embezzling millions visited a lawyer. His attorney told him, 'Dont worry. Youll never head to jail with all that money? In reality, once the man was sent to prison, he didnt have a penny.
2. As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, 'Why are all of the shades drawn'? The nurse answered, 'There is a fire next door, and we did not want you to think you'd died.'
3. God chose to simply take the devil to judge and settle their differences once and for-all. Satan noticed this, laughed and said, 'And where do you think you're likely to find a attorney'?
4. A lawyer is sitting at the desk in his new office. H-e hears someone visiting the doorway. To impress his first potential customer, he sees the phone while the door opens and claims, 'I need one-million and not a penny less.' As he hangs up, the person no