I Am Confident in my Dad Bod

My name is Jonathan and I like my body. I would say it is unique. My body surprises everyone, let me explain. At first look, most would guess fifteen. I am on the shorter side at five-seven. In order to look taller I started wearing New Balance and Wallabees shoes. I love those shoes. I could definitely gain some muscle mass. I play sports all the time so I’m no complete twig, but I never lift weights, which shows. I have the infamous baby face. Every time I try to grow facial hair I get a disproportionate neck beard accompanied with a nasty seventh grade mustache. I know so far this does not sound “unique” or “dad bod” like, but let me continue. The real shock comes when I take my shirt off. I swear, I have never met another person with a body like mine. I have a very abnormal amount of chest hair. There are men out there with chest hair like mine, but all of them are full-bodied hairy monkeys. People don’t get surprised when they take their shirts off. They have beards, back hair popping out of their shirt and are normally double my age. I, on the other hand, have a clean-shaven face, little to no back hair and just don’t portray that appearance. When I take my shirt off at the pool or to play basketball it’s always the same. People do the double look. When this hairy beast is combined with my freshman fifteen I have the ultimate dad bod.

I like the weirdness of my body; it makes me stand out and is really fun to look at in the mirror. How many can say that?