JP Silva

His legend precedes him, the way lightning precedes thunder. People hang on his every word, even the prepositions. The police often question him just because they find him interesting. A movie about his life cannot be completed, because no one wants it to end. He's been known to cure narcolepsy just by walking into a room. His reputation is expanding faster than the universe. He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels. He wouldn't be afraid to show his feminine side, if he had one. He once challenged his reflection to a staring contest; four days later, he won. He lives vicariously through himself. His personality is so magnetic; he is unable to carry credit cards. His charm is so contagious; vaccines have been created for it. The pheromones he secretes affect people miles away… in a slight, but measurable way. Years ago, he built a city out of blocks. Today, over six hundred thousand people live and work there. He is the only man to ever ace a Rorschach test. Every time he goes for a swim, dolphins appear. Alien abductors have asked him to probe them. If he were to give you directions, you'd never get lost, and you'd arrive at least 5 minutes early. Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number. He never says something tastes like chicken. Not even chicken. He's a lover, not a fighter, but he's also a fighter, so don't get any ideas. He was the featured man at a bachelorette auction and he brought in over 13 million euro, under the table.He once started a fire, using dental floss and water. If he punched you in the face, you'd have to fight the urge to thank him. He went to a psychic once... to warn her. He strongly abides by the motto "safety third." The Aztec calendar has his birthday chiseled in it. He is the life of parties he has never attended. He’s against cruelty to animals, but isn’t afraid to give a stern warning. When he walks into a courtroom, the judge rises. He once found the fountain of youth but didn't drink from it because he was not thirsty. When life gives him lemons, he makes champagne. When he orders a salad, he gets the dressing right there on top of the salad; where it belongs; where there is no turning back. He can speak Portuguese... in Russian.