Kailer Mullet

I was born in a small town in the Grand Duchy of Warsaw some four thousand years ago. As I recall, in the summertime we used to roast marshmallows down by the statue of the sublime leader in the center of town. We didn't have television at the time, so we made do anyway we could, usually by vandalizing things. I can still remember the taste of my own blood when I was beat up at the courthouse last week. These are lies.